I think we have all been through this

Airline Agent: What can I do for you, sir?

Max: I'd like you to send one of my bags to New York, one to Los Angeles and one to Miami.

Airline Agent: We can't do that

Max: Why not? You did it last week

Just the Facts

One thing a mother would never say: "Well, if your friend's mom says its okay, that good enough for me."


-2009 Page A Day calendar

Dinner

A local priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed to the priest decided to save his own view words, while they waited: "I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had also stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his best friend's wife, and take in illicit drugs. I was appalled. But as the days went on, I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to find parish full of good and loving people." Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies for being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and said, "all never forget the first day our parish priest arrived. In fact, I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession."
Moral: never, never, NEVER-EVER be late.

-The Coffee Mate, April 10, 2009

Well, if only the solution was that easy

Maurice: Doctor, how do I stop my ears from ringing?

Doctor: Get an unlisted head.


-2009 Page a Day calendar

Quickie

What do you call a bear with no ears?


B




-2009 Page a Day calendar

Cute

Little Billy: During naptime today, my teacher called the police and they took me to the station.

Little Missy: Why did they do that?

Little Billy: Because I was resisting a rest.


-2009 Page a Day calendar

I think we have all been there

Little Billy: Why is your face covered with food?

Little Willie: Because I was doing what my mother told me.

Little Billy: What did she tell you?

Little Willie: To shut my mouth and eat my supper.


-2009 Page a Day calendar