Joke

Hector: Doc, since I fell on my head I've forgotten everything that happened last week and I'm worried people are going to take advantage of me.

Doctor: Don't worry about it, Hector. Don't even try to remember anything about last week. Just look to the future.

Hector: That's great advice, doc! So what do I owe you?

Doctor: $300, including the $150 you didn't pay me last week.


-2009 Page a Day calendar

Joke (well, do you have a better title?)

What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine's Day?

A hug and a quiche



-2009 Page-A-Day Calendar

Max at the therapist's

Max: Doc, sometimes I think I'm Mickey Mouse; other times I think I'm Donald Duck; and at still other times, I think I'm the entire cast of High School Musical!

Therapist: How long have you been having these Disney spells?


-2009 Page a Day calendar

Joke

Herb: I hate to brag, but Little Billy was a musical prodigy.

Monty: How so?

Herb: At five, he wrote an opera; at six, he wrote a symphony; and at seven, he wrote a duet for piano and violin.

Monty: Wow! What happened at eight?

Herb: At eight, breakfast was on the table and it was time to get ready for school.



-2009 Page a Day calendar

Not in Webster"s

misty: how golfers make divots




-2009 Page a Day calendar

The Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their drink order. "I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy."I would like a Coke," said the second little piggy.
"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.

The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner. "I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy. "I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy.
"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.

The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert. "I want a banana split," said the first piggy. "I want a cheesecake," said the second piggy.
"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," exclaimed the third little piggy. "Pardon me for asking," said the waiter to the third little piggy," But why have you only ordered beer all evening?"

You're gonna LOVE me for this....

The third piggy says - "Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!



Thanks to my grandma for sending me this forward

Hockey Fans

Four hockey fans are mountain climbing. Each climber happens to b e a rabid fan of a different NHL team. As they climb higher and higher. they argue more and more about which of them is the most loyal to their particular team.

Finally, as they reach the summit, the climber from Vancouver takes a running leap and throws himself off the mountain, yelling, "this is for the Vancouver Canucks!"

Not wanting to be outdone, the climber from Calgary throws himself off the mountain shouting, "this is for the Calgary Flames!"......

Seeing this, the Toronto climber walks to the edge of the cliff and yells, "this is for the Toronto Maple Leafs!", and pushes the guy from Ottawa off the cliff.